constant battle

being 'fit' has never been, nor ever will be, easy for me. it's mind-boggling really that no matter how much I exercise & how well i eat... I still don't love the way I look.
It's hard. & today happened to be one of those days...
luckily pinterest knew exactly what to say:

i can't express to you enough how much I needed this quote. 

there have been so many days that I've lived where I truly have hated myself.

not anymore.

I needed this one too.

&& simply for kicks & giggles,

these were a must because they are oh, so true.

[even though I wish they weren't]

so it's a constant battle, but a battle that I ultimately win.

because I'm doing it for myself, and not for other people

I am grateful for my body, and I will love it, because it's good to love yourself.

a full tummy & a grateful heart

granted I'm 5 days late... but thanksgiving was wonderful!
it was so nice to relax, and not do school work for a few days. it truly was marvelous.
I probably gained a couple pounds, get over it. I did. the food is always divine, and I love being with my family. setting up for Christmas afterwards is a blessing... but my most favorite-st part of Thanksgiving is reflecting on all the blessings that have been bestowed upon me.
I truly could go on forever as I reflected this past week on all I have, but I'll keep it concise:

• The gospel
• My family
• My home
• My health
• My opportunities I have had through out my life

and to make it even more special, Thanksgiving fell on my momma's birthday this year! You'd never guess how old she turned, because she always looks beautiful. 

moving out, I've realized all that my mom has done for me. She's taught me so many things that I took for granted, until I am on my own and I have to do them myself:

 My momma taught me good fashion, which I am forever grateful.  

She taught me how to clean a house [a very important skill. trust me] & to always make it smell good.

     oh. and how to decorate. She is aaaaah-mazing.

She set an extremely high bar for cooking slash baking, and boy do I miss home cooked meals.

She showed me true happiness growing up: laughing & making jokes are vital for living a good life.

She has pushed me to be my best.

&& most importantly, she taught me that I am a strong girl, with a brave testimony. 

I am very thankful for her, and so very grateful that I am blessed with the greatest best friend there could be. && I'm grateful that I was able to realize she was there for me when no one else was--I'll forever be grateful for her, and the young woman I'm becoming because of her.

I love you mom, forever & always.

breakdown

today everything that has been building up:

• my test scores
• my lack of sleep
• my massive amounts of reading/homework
• my stress
• my annoyance
• my grades

All came out, and rather than in my own room where my pillow could comfort me, it was right in front of my sociology teacher.

All of it.

I did awful on the test, so I went after class to talk to her.

naturally, I started to feel tears prick my eyes, but I was determined to hold it in, because how embarrassing would bawling in front of a professor be? (it isn't high school anymore)

But they kept coming, gathering in my eyes. After a few more pathetic attempts to hold them in, I let them come, and boy, did they come.
college is hard: harder than anything I have ever done. I am constantly being stretched to my limit, and I feel like I'm going to snap at any moment.
and of course, today was the day.

luckily she is the sweetest lady ever, but I still felt embarrassed.

really, I could not be more thankful for this break. HALLELUJAH. 

growing up

thirty:: a picture of yourself today and 5 good things that happened to you during this challenge//

 1) I became happy again.

2) I learned that things happen for a reason, and God knows what He's doing.

3) I moved out, and I'm attending the College of my dreams

4) I am growing up; and I like who I'm becoming

5) I seriously have met my best friend and roommate ever.

I love my life. && I love that this challenge is over.

finished

TODAY, i am finishing up the challenge.
judge me.
i don't care!

day twenty five- something you are looking forward to

thanksgiving :)
I seriously love November
1) because it is absolutely gorgeous outside
2) thanksgiving is in 21 days
3) that means I have a break from school
4) CHRISTMAS IS AROUND THE CORNER

November is good :)

day twenty six- your dream wedding..

gah.

I have never been, and never will be one that plans my wedding.

until it comes of course.

they are too much work.

but I do know one thing,

I want my boyfriend to propose to me while someone is secretly taking a picture like so:

thing number 2 that is a necessity:

A FALL WEDDING.

but other than that?

hopefully I don't have to plan it for years.

twenty seven- a picture of your city and whats great about it

current city: Provo

prettiest campus award: BYU

but really, you can't look at that and say it isn't GORGEOUS.

i love where I'm at right now...

twenty eight- what stresses you out::

right now?

- I have two major tests to study for

- 4 essays to write

- 75 pages of Beowulf to read

- a museum to visit and write a paper about

- a Book of Mormon final project to do

and my friends. this ain't high school. it is hard.

and so, THAT is what stresses me out.

twenty nine- three confessions

1) i like BYU creamery ice cream, WAY too much.

2) I never knew I was like my mother, but I can't stand a filthy house. (gag)

my roommates are quite filthy

3) I think I'm trying out for cheer once again...

I'll keep you posted.