it's a revolution.

day fourteen: a picture of you last year, and how you've changed.


September 21, 2011

a month and one day, one year ago i began a journey of changing.
(i know, i know. I sound like a broken record, ACL this, surgery that. but really it impacted my life more than anything has thus far.)

how I have changed:
1. good things happen to good people.
Christ doesn't punish us for being bad, and he doesn't shield bad things from happening for being good.
trials and temptation come to everyone, even the best people out there.
that was hard for me to understand, but I now get that I am strong enough to handle whatever Heavenly Father throws my way. and besides, He's there to help me through all of this.
2. people aren't always what they seem.
 I thought I had my best friend for forever. the kind of best friend that you go to college together, live next to each other when you are married, & your kids become best friends. the kind that doesn't leave me when you need them most.
news flash: she wasn't.
I've started to get to know people better, become friends with maybe the unexpected ones.
and I've stopped judging people, and have learned their story.
3. feeling sorry for yourself gets you nowhere
besides weight gain and depression, feeling sorry for myself has done NOTHING for me.
my old best friend and I aren't friends?
oh well. I deserve better anyway.
I didn't make the cheer squad?
there is always next year.
my grandpa passed away?
I'll see him again one day.
4. who cares what people think about you.
I am 4'11". yes, I could qualify for a handicapped sticker. no I am not going to get one.
my mom always tried to get me to wear heels. but heaven forbid I did, because I thought I would be judged like crazy.
guess what? who cares!
I'm changing that about myself, I don't care what people think.
like me, hate me, admire me, ignore me.
I am who I am, and I'm not going to change for anyone, but myself of course.
5. everything happens for a reason.
I am still trying to change my mantra in life. but I believe this a lot more now then I did a couple of months ago. my cousin, who really is more of an older brother, told me,
"everything will be okay in the end.
if it's not okay, it's not the end."
and you know what? I believe him.

obsessed.

day thirteen: a tv show you have become obsessed with.

I really don't watch much tv. But when I get into a series, it's hard for me to get out of that obsession.

• abc family is my go-to channel to watch tv. i am obsessed with Pretty Little Liars, and Secret-Life. and my favorite of all was Make It or Break It.
• recently my sister and I watched all three seasons of Drop Dead Diva. I am waiting patiently for the 4th season to be released.
• Prison Break was excellent. mm mm Wentworth Miller. the  1st season was by far the best
• but i think my ALL time favorite of any tv series i have watched is Friday Night Lights.
• seriously I will marry Tim Riggins.. aka Taylor Kitsch (sigh) i love him
• and now, I have heard Breaking Bad is wonderful, so my friends. I will begin that series shortly.

mary poppins' purse

day twelve: something i never leave the house without.

• totally dorky, but i never leave the house without a waterbottle.
• my camera has a perma-spot in my purse. I always take that sucker with me.
• i am a freak about making bracelets, therefore i always have a bracelet in the making along for the ride.
• a book is also in my purse at all times. you never know when you find a small crook that is perfect for reading.
• lip gloss!! my mother taught me well, "no outfit is complete without glossy lips."
• and finally, my iPhone. it is my music, my internet, my entertainment, and my phone all at once. people don't even text me (really, i'll go a day with recieving a single text) but i can't leave without it. i have to keep up on my instagram stalking.

today is tuesday

today is tuesday.

my house smells of autumn harvest

& cinnamon clove.

(thank you bath & body).

i'm ready for fall.

today is tuesday.

it is nine o'clock.

i have ran 6 miles,

toned & stretched,

and am feeling great.

today is tuesday.

& it is going to be a good day.

feel goods

I loved Gordon B. Hinkley. 

He was my prophet growing up, and i loved his goofy sense of humor and his infinite wisdom.. Some of my favorite quotes are from him.

day eleven: favorite quote(s)

"we have every reason to be optimistic in this world. 

you can't, you don't build out of pessimism or cynicism.

you look with optimism, work with faith, and things happen. things will work out.

keep trying

be believing

be happy.

don't get discouraged. things will work out."

i seriously love that man, but another prophet of God that i LOVE 

(& not just because he is extremely good looking...)

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"happily ever after is not something found only in fairytales.

you are princesses destined to become queens.

your own wondrous stroy has already begun.

your once upon a time is now."

"it is your reaction to adversity, 

not the adversity itself,

that DETERMINES how your life's story will develop."

but seriously, my all-time favorite apostle ever is Jeffrey R. Holland.

"However late you think you are, 

however many chances you think you have missed,

however many mistakes you feel you have made 

or talents you don't have,

or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled.

I testify that you ave not traveled beyond the reach of divine love.

It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's atonement shines."

 

what you fear most, is fear itself

day nine:: something i am afraid of.

"don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game."

"that suggests that what you fear the most, is fear itself."

two quotes of two of my favorite movies.

i'm afraid of failure.

i didn't know i was until April 21.

the day I tried out for BYU.

it is such a silly dream, but it consumed my life for 7 years.

i had never failed before; i always seemed to be at the "top" of everything i did.

school work, grades, gymnastics, cheerleading. everything came so easy.

when i tore my acl, i was afraid of the future; of not fulfilling my dream.

when i recovered so well, i was sure i would be fine. BYU would be like everything else in my life.

easy.

i made the first cut without a question. so i showed up saturday with nerves, but confident that i would do well.

little did i know that i failed so terribly bad...

my tryout went great, nothing went wrong, but i just wasn't what the judges were looking for i guess, i had all the requirements and some, yet they didn't want me. i guess i'm afraid of rejection now too.

when my number wasn't called, symbolizing that i had gotten cut, i was shocked. but i was okay, so i thought. i called my mom when i got outside, and the second i heard her voice, i bawled.

i realized that i hadn't only failed me, but my family as well..

i'm afraid to try again, i'm afraid of not making it, i'm afraid of going through what i have been through again. but mostly, i am afraid of failing.

i am learning that fear of failure will get me nowhere in my life, and so i am trying something else in my life; courage. i will try and try again, because i don't want to live my life in fear, i want to play the game.

"our bravest journey's are never taken alone."



say cheese.

day nine: favorite pictures.

let's start with the first. my recent trip to lake powell.

now these are pictures that have accumulated over my high school years.

and they are my (some of) favorite ones.

 it's clear that i cheered through out high school.

dances were great. this was my favorite dress.

we snuck on miss pleasant grove's float.

 most recent picture: journey concert!!

my amazing, wonderful favorite grandpa.